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The last few weeks I have been asking myself “Can I really survive these teen years?” After lots of reading and journaling I have decided that many parents have before me and many parents will after mine have grown and my kids are going through this with their children. So in short YES we all can and will survive these teen years.
Dealing with a teen with any type of depression or anger issue is rough, not just for the teen but for the whole family. During this time it’s best to do your best to be patient, listen to your teen, get as involved in their lives as possible as well as do what you can to keep the lines of communication open. Even when they are not actively listening or acting like they care what you are saying in reality they are. If you think back to when you were a teen you may not have really listened to what your parents were saying but you did hear, and many times you took those words to heart and it helped make the right choices down the road.
One thing I think we often forget is teens may look and sometimes act like adults they are still children inside, going through many changes that come along with growing up. It happens so fast everything gets very confusing as to what is going on and what they are feeling it’s hard to understand. So trying to be understanding put yourself at their mentality level may help you to understand what it is they are going though right now, this also helps make it easier to offer advice and support.
Something else I have learned is there is no blanket answer to every problem for every child. This is something I have known but it is something that is good to be reminded of. It’s good to talk with others about the problems you are having and possibly discuss what they have found to work for their child and try it or change it a little to see if it will work with your teen.
Just make the most that you can out of these years and be there for them as much as possible. If you’re wondering about ways to help more there is an ebook I have just finished on Dealing with Teen Anger and Depression. I am also in the process of starting a blog to share what I am learning through these crazy teen years to help other parents with tips and ideas that I have heard and I am using that have helped me and others.
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My oldest is 11 years old. I am dreading the teen years which are coming so soon.
Hi Tamara,
Good post. I have recently become a mother of “no” teens – both my kids are now in their twenties.
I agree that one of the most important things you can do during the teen years is to stay close to your teen and listen to them. It’s a hard period of life, and they have so many questions and hesitations about life. They need reassurance and stability, and the parents are the ones who should be providing it. If not, they will look elsewhere for it.
I always say my daughter 5 going on 15. Knowing how she can be now at such a young age – makes me wonder how the teen years are going to be. I know we all get through it one way or another! Hang tough!
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The teen years have been very rough, but my daughter has made leaps and bounds in them. She is about ready to graduate and is a totally different kid than she was when she entered high school. You are right stay positive, stay in their lives, and be patient and you will make it through the teen years.
Awesome post there Tamara!! As you know I have a 20yo and a 16yo and I am always on my toes dealing with the different things that life throws at me as a parent. eBooks like the one you posted are perfect to help parents gain resources that they need!
Aurelia Williamss last blog post..Expert Advice for College Bound Students
Ahh Yes the teen years. My son is there now and boy it can be rough. The issues I have with him sometimes make me feel as if he will grow up to be a horrible person that I just might not like; but the good outweighs that bad and so that is what I rest on. The fact that he is a teen right now means that I need to work with the good even more, pray, and believe that he will grow out of this stuff.
Just to think I have one more to deal with, but at least that is some years away.
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My son, who is turning 18 next week, is moving to Florida today. To say I long to experience his teen years again, is an understatement.
Merry Strong
her-homeschool-blog.coms last blog post..Cinco de Mayo Lesson Plans
Teenage years are, no doubt, the hardest time for parents.
Participating in the Chrysanthemom’s Scavenger hunt! I found the image on this posting!
My children are still young but I do believe the teen years will be a very big challenge in times like these!
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Scavenger hunt – Found it!
I will be back to this post in 11 years when my Little One is a teenager. He’s too cute to be anything but perfect, but I know one day he’ll prove me wrong!
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On the scavenger hunt – finally found the image!! You get the prize for the hardest one to find!!
Love this game – great way to see blogs! Please visit me at http://mommymeryl.blogspot.com
What a beautiful image of the flower! LOL! I’m on a scavenger hunt…
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Hi Tamara,
Great post. I don’t have a teenager yet, but one of SIL’s has a three boys–ages four through 14 and one way that she put it, (and I hope I remember it when I’m there) is that in many respects, the toddler years can be a precursor to the teen years…many of the same issues minus the raging hormones LOL.
(BTW…found the image from Crystals MommyFest scavenger hunt.) And before I forget, Sue Scheff has a new book out on dealing with difficult teens called Wit’s End (www.witsendbook.com) that might be useful to some parents of teens and aren’t sure of where to turn or what to do.
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I’m here for the Chrysanthemom’s Scavenger hunt. Great post though, my oldest is going on 11 so great article. She has some issues with stress/anxiety & you are right about it effecting the entire family. She has a great teacher this year & the issues have been non-existent, but I’m sure they will resurface sometime in the next few years.
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Yes, you can survive the teen years. I am a step mom of two, now 26 and 24 and we all made it. LOL Many challenges but it’s interesting to watch them grow out of many of the issues.
PS. Found the image for the scavenger hunt. Thanks
Angies last blog post..Welcome Mommy Fest Blog Party People
Yes, we will survive the teen years as parents. We probably won’t survive them completely unscathed but we will get through those 4 years of hormonal trauma while they are in high school. With a soon to be sophomore and senior I feeling the pangs that’s for sure.
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I found the pink flower! YAY
My daughter is 19 and my son is 15. I stress over them now just as much as I did when they were younger.
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oh!! I finally found the graphic I need for the scavenger hunt!! Yours was hard to find!!!
oh yeah, I LOVE ONE TREE HILL TOO!
Found the image for the scavenger hunt! Now I just need to find 7 more…
Please come visit me at my blog. It can be found at weblog.heatherquarnstrom.com.
Have a great day!
~ Heather
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I have two teens. My daughter has learned that yelling and throwing fits only gets her sent away, so now she will come back and say MOM – and I can hear that now she’s going to use logic and persuasion which means I am in trouble because she might win the argument. My 15 year old son on the other hand still hasn’t learned to control his impatience, but I know he’ll get there someday too.
I’m here for the scavanger hunt.
I had to really look for this picture(I’m participating in the hunt)! I have 2 kids but they are 2 and 10 months…oh what fun I have to look forward to!
Cristas last blog post..Mommyfest Blog Party
Found you via the blog scavenger hunt! Image is in this post!
Hm…teenage years. I’m 30, but I still remember mine well and all of the emotions/thoughts I had then. I was so insistent that my parents didn’t know a thing. Now I know they know a LOT. I hope I can look to the future when my little ones are teens and realize that they, too, will hopefully one day see me as more than ignorant! :0)
Thanks!
Megret
meg.wilson@gmail.com
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WOOO hooo finally found it. I am so glad I did.
I am right there with you about the teen years.
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My oldest isn’t 2 yet and I’m ALREADY dreading teenagers!!! Here with the scavenger hunt
Marins last blog post..A Gaggle of Giveaways…
I have a couple of years until my son hits the teen years. Fortunately, I have a few more years until my daughter hits!
Found the flower.
Julies last blog post..Update! I won the essay contest!
Being a teenager is really confusing. Knowing how to handle a teenager is hard too.
Found the flower
I am dreading the teen years. I have six kids. I thought it was tough when they were all really little (well four of them anyway) at the exact same time. Having four teens at once is going to be the greatest challenge of my life! Then I get to have two more right after that! LOL! BTW, I found your scavanger hunt photo in this post.
I remember being a teen, I am NOT looking forward to my girls being teens one bit! lol.
Found the image for the scavenger hunt!
Ginas last blog post..Daily Freebies May 13, 2008
Oh, I am SO not looking forward to the teen years with my kids. My daughter, 5, is already driving me nuts with her mood swings. I can’t imagine what it’ll be like with added hormones. Argh!
Also, found the pretty picture!
This was hard to find! I am enjoying the Scavenger Hunt. You did a good job hiding your image!
dbstout[at]juno[dot]com
Deborahs last blog post..Healing Promises by Amy Wallace
Yup – parenting teens is tough. Thanks for the reminder that “we often forget teens may look and sometimes act like adults they are still children inside” – this is something that I constantly need to remind myself. BTW – am here for the scavenger hunt!
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Chrysanthemom’s Scavenger hunt